Jamie Cullum v Haagen-Dazs
He slapped and banged the piano with the over zealous verve of a demented chimpanzee. A few minutes later he was tearing down the auditorium stairs whipping the crowd into frenzy. He stormed back onto the stage, bounding on top of his Steinway before flying through the air, legs spinning, arms flailing, head twisting – like an out of control sky diver. Welcome to a Jamie Cullum concert. This is jazz, but not as you know it.
My friend arrived at the venue late in a foul mood: arms folded, legs crossed, face fizzing, she sulked in her chair with the words “ENTERTAIN ME!!!” emblazoned across her face. She had been working overtime and was stressed out of her mind (her boss was an office tyrant, who expected his staff to sacrifice their social life to the Gods of Commerce). I went for the culinary G-Spot and bought her the biggest tub of Haagen-Dazs I could afford from the foyer. It seemed to do the trick, and she briefly stopped moaning as the endorphins rushed around her body. But the over priced ice cream was no magic elixir, and the storm clouds gathered above her head minutes later.
2 hours later she was unrecognisable, and had been transformed into a dancing, clapping, smiling, bundle of fun. This is what scientists call the Jamie Cullum effect. In fact, everyone was on their feet, even the fish oiled octogenarians who thought they were coming to see a young Bing Crosby. “I didn’t think I really liked jazz, but this is great,” said my friend as she swatted an imaginary cymbal with her hand. “This is cross-over jazz,” I replied. She shrugged her shoulders and continued to thump on an invisible set of drums. She was right, who cares what it’s called - good music is good music.
The fact that Cullum is the UK’s best selling jazz artist of all time is no fluke. His fusion of jazz with contemporary styles, and his jazz tinged covers of modern classics has allowed him to reach a large demographic. Some of his jazz peers deride his music; but I believe they are jealous of his lucrative rise to fame (Cullum signed a £1m contract to record 3 albums with Universal). For others musical purists jazz is sacred; with ancient rules decreeing how it should be played, presented and appreciated. To them, he is Jazz’s Vanessa-Mae. To me he is the lifeblood of modern jazz in the UK, as he has surreptitiously turned young people onto it. Without them onboard, the venues will get smaller, the audiences will dwindle and the music will become literally extinct. Good luck Jamie, I look forward to hearing your new album in the fall.